How to Choose an Internet Dating Site Part I – Match.com

In my single days, I tried online dating. I spent a lot of time and money trying out all the different sites. This series of posts is a summary of my experiences & opinions of the internet dating sites I used. It is intended to help anyone thinking about trying online dating or looking for a different dating site.

Match.com
By far, my worst dates came from Match.com and in my opinion, Match is the worst dating site out there. This probably stems from the fact that it is the easiest and fastest site to sign up for, and also the most inexpensive.

The ability to search primarily based on physical criteria on Match is a bad thing. You put in what physical features you want your matches to have, view pictures (subscribers only), and read what he or she has to say about him or herself. Easy enough, right? Wrong. In my experience, Match.com users lie about EVERYTHING – their ages, heights, weights, marital statuses, number of children, you name it.

You must communicate through Match because the site blacks out email addresses people incorporate into their profile text to communicate with users without paying to use the site… Tell me this: Why would you want to connect with someone who isn’t even serious enough to pay the minimum $35 for one month to meet someone special?

The worst feature of Match.com is free trial weekends. While free trials might be good for beginners or people unsure if they want to subscribe, but free trails are bad for everyone else using the site. This is when the cheapskate creeps come out and activate the accounts they haven’t used for months to quickly contact as many people as possible for free. No thank you!

On the dark side, I know of a man who has been on Match for at least five years. Now that Match has the “find someone special in 6 months or get 6 months free” guarantee, my friend claims he “will be on Match until he gets married.”

On the bright side, I personally know two couples that met on Match and both couples recently married. They all have horror stories about some of the dates they had and people they met through Match, but things worked out for them and they seem very happy.

In conclusion, when it comes to Match.com, you get what you pay for.

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Is It Creativity Or Imagination?

Am I creative? While revising my resume recently, I used the word creative, but it just didn’t sound right. “Creative” wasn’t what I really wanted to say…

I stumbled across the following description of “creativity” and “imagination” in Helen Fisher’s book, Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type. I think she accurately describes the difference I perceived in the definitions of the words creativity and imagination. I was trying to describe myself as having the ability to take known data and facts from the past and present and use them to come up with solutions for projects or problems at work. The word I was looking for was imaginative, not creative.

I’ve come to believe imagination is a slightly different brain activity than creativity. People with powerful imaginations combine existing data and ideas, while those who are especially creative generate new data or ideas. We often do both, of course. But I suspect that imagination stems from web thinking. For what is imagination, but the ability to reach into the breadth of one’s stored knowledge, mentally assemble reams of information in new ways and “suppose” how these combinations of variable connect and interact?
(From The Philosopher King – The Negotiator – Imagination)

As I’ve mentioned, I don’t think creativity and imagination are exactly the same thing, although they are often complementary. Creativity often requires some imagination, and imagination is often creative. But you can create a piece of music or develop a theory of natural selection and never daydream about tomorrow or reflect on yesterday. And you can daydream endlessly without creating a song, poem, hypothesis, or gaget.
(From The One – How We Love)

I highly recommend any Helen Fisher book. I was lucky enough to find Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by chance at a Half Price Books store in Highland Park, Minnesota years ago and I’ve read everything she’s written ever since. She often contributes to news stories as on of the world’s leading experts on the nature of romantic love and attachment. She recently became the scientific advisor for Chemistry.com.

Sources
Helen Fisher. Why Him? Why Her? New York: Henry Holt and Company, LLC, 2009.

Filed under interests | Tags: anthropology, attachment, chemistry, chemistry.com, creativity, Helen Fisher, imagination, love, romantic, Why Her?, Why Him?, Why We Love | Comment (0)