The REAL St. Patrick
We celebrate March 17th in commemoration of St. Patrick’s great and noble deed in driving the Norwegians out of Ireland.
Centuries ago many Norwegians went to Ireland to escape the bitterness of the Norwegian winter. Ireland was having a famine at the time, and food was quite scarce. The Norwegians were eating almost all the fish caught in the area, leaving the Irish with nothing but potatoes.
St. Patrick, taking matters into his own hands like most Irishmen do, decided the Norwegians had to go. Secretly, he organized the IRATIONAL (Irish Republican Army To Rid Ireland Of Norwegians At Last).
Irish members of IRATIONAL sabotaged all power plants in hopes the fish in Norwegian refrigerators would spoil, forcing the Norwegians to a colder climate where their fish would keep. The fish spoiled all right, but the Norwegians, as everybody knows to this day, thrive on spoiled fish.
Faced with failure, the IRATIONAL sneaked into the Norwegian’s fish storage caves in the dead of night and sprinkled the rotten fish with lye, hoping to poison the Norwegian intruders. But, as everyone knows, this is how lutefisk was introduced to the Norwegians and they thrived on this lye-soaked smelly fish.
Matters became even worse for the Irishmen when the Norwegians started taking over the Irish potato crop for lefsa to go with their lutefisk.
Poor St. Pat was at his wits’ end and finally, on March 17th, he blew his top and told all Norwegians to go to Hell, and it worked…
All the Norwegians left Ireland and went to Minnesota.
Filed under holiday | Tags: famine, Ireland, Irish, lutefisk, March 17, minneapolis, Minnesota, Norway, Norwegian, potato, potatoes, St. Patrick, St. Patrick's Day, St. Patty's Day, st. paul | Comment (0)